Monday, March 28, 2011

Her Mental Health is Better Than I Thought

Oh Mary Katherine will be wearing her lucky shoes until...let's face it, until Kentucky goes all the way. But what about next year? For the record, I should publically acknowlege that MK is always right, so why would this be any different? Once again...go Kentucky...

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Add "Pink Sneakers" to the List of Things That Compromise Mary Katherine's Mental Health

We know that the word "fan" originates from "fanatic." Mary Katherine is a "fan" of the Kentucky men's Basketball Team. Call it hometown layalty. She believes that wearing her lucky shoes caused them to win the other day. So she slept in them. The woman slept in her shoes. We know that Al Gore once caused her to go insane, as did a temporary bout of PTSD. But sneakers? Go Kentucky....

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Universe Sends Me Very Strange Messages

I was writing an email to my system admin guy at work. Te juro I did not write anything in the subject line. Somehow this showed up. What does it mean????????

Monday, March 21, 2011

Leg Lump

Forgot to share this:

Several weeks ago I went out dancing with E-Man, Naph and Monte. We got back to Naph's place and as I was sitting on his couch, I felt a big, weird lump on my leg, right above my knee on the inside - like my inner thigh. I excused myself and went to the bathroom. Well........I must have worn the jeans when it was cold because I found a pair of balled-up tights. So then what? I had to fold then neatly and hide them in my boot.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

5 a Day

Do you know what this is?

Hint: I took this pic at the library (paperback fiction section, as you can see)

I guess we could say it is the produce section of the library.

People...really? What "food rule" is this!?!?

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Carrier Monkeys

I had quite the weekend: date w E-man on Friday night, Saturday spent with Heidi and Nach's varmints, then filming self defense demo for Channel 4 news, then dancing with Mouse 'til 5am.

So of course I am coming down with a nasty cold.

Me to MK: Blarg, I am getting sick. I probably caught it from one of your kids.
MK: My kids!? What about the carrier monkeys you spent your weekend with?
Me: Hmmm. I only made out with one of them.
MK (yelping): What? That's horrible! I meant Heidi's kids!
Me: In that case, I didn't make out with any of them. That's gross.

Necesito el Bano!

How many times have we discussed this? Yeesh. Typically the bathrooms at my job are missing one of the important elements in the bathroom trifecta: tp, soap, paper towels. Now, I realize that there is really a necessary quartet: having some light really helps.

Last night the bathroom on the third floor was out of order. The one on the first floor, which is essentially a closet, had no light. So I dared do the unthinkable - I went into the Big Boss's office (he was gone for the night) to use his special executive bathroom. I COULD NOT FIND THE LIGHTSWITCH. But by that time I had run from the 3rd floor to the 1st to the 2nd and my next choice to pee either in the planter by the front door or in the birdbath in the yard.

So I used my cellphone as a flashlight in the Boss's office.

I am ready for my promotion.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Just Like Me!

MaryKatherine was picking through a bag of cereal very carefully, inspecting each morsel before she found those suitable for eating.

Me: "What are you doing?!"
MK: "Like you, I prefer the little, dark ones."