Just Desserts

As both of you who read this know, Osito is a Tech Manager, which means he provides technical support directly to customers. Sometimes people are mean and call him names. Sometimes they are appreciative. And sometimes they give him gifts. Like this:
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Yes, an elderly couple was so appreciative, they gave him a coupon. That very coupon. From a store circular. And you know what Osito said? "Awwww. Store circulars only last a week. Newspaper coupons last a whole month."

It seemed like one of those moments when you're put on the spot and you just grab whatever you can. "Here! Take this...pen! I mean, here's a comb to show just how much I appreciate you."

I Need More Degrees

Six are not enough degrees. Running in 6 degrees......bllleeecccchhhhh. Everything warmed up pretty quickly except the big toe on my right foot and the second toe on my left foot. Who know cold could penetrate so specifically? I thought maybe the way my shoes were tied contributed but once I took off my gloves I couldn't feel my fingers. Oh the joys of a treadmill and a Law and Order rerun.

Mary Katherine Went Crazy and its All Al Gore's Fault

MK was compelled to repeatedly send email questions about and pictures of jambalaya to her Rabbi. But if Al Gore hadn't invented the internet, she never would have been able to have an email-capable cell phone in the first place. So...you can see that Al Gore is responsible for her momentary lapse in mental health and he should be committed to an asylum or sentenced to jail.

Where Am I Going and Why am I in This Handbasket?

Almost every week in the laundromat the same 2 guys try to engage me in a discussion about my everlasting soul and my impending doom. How can they forget me and repeatedly approach? The very first time, before I figured out what they wanted, I answered honestly when they asked me, "¿Usted habla Espanol?" Now the conversation goes like this:

CrazyJesusMen: "¿Usted habla Espanol?"
Me: "no"
CrazyJesusMen: "OK, I speak English, too"
Me: "eh?"
CrazyJesusMen: "I. Speak. English. Have you thought about your eternal soul?"
Me: "Hubi frubends"
CrazyJesusMen: "Do you speak English?"
Me: "Youbu arba aba dubick"

Then they walk away. Who would have thought that Ubi Dubbi language from Zoom would come in this handy?

Tenacity

L recently told me that "tenacious" is his word of the moment. Which go me to thinking about tenacity, about persistence, about perseverance. Which brings me to my mom. Chemotherapy is brutal. She is hairless, her head leaks, her bones hurt. She is in the hands of doctors and scientists and radiologists. And every day she gets back up and sticks out her arm and accepts the poison that will eventually cure her. Probably. Multiply that times all the people in the world who are sick or down or oppressed who just keep standing back up. Astonishing. Its what karate prepares you for best, I think, getting back up. You don't always want to, but what's the alternative? Tap out?

My word of the moment..."mercy."

Soul Patch

I was out to lunch with my parents and their friends, I and P, who are closer to my age than my parents' age. They are nice folks.

My father has a goatee, or more specifically, what I think is referred to as a "Van Dyke." P has a mustache. My father had to explain to P the meaning of a "soul patch" (my dad has one in conjunction with his goatee.) Imagine my dad, 82 years old, explaining the benefits of a soul patch. In those exact terms. I'm just grateful he didn't call it a "landing strip."

By the way, my mom is now a lesbian and she propositioned the receptionist at the doctor's office. Really.

Half Benny

Sweet Benny. I love the architecture of her head.

And doesn't that look like a goose next to her? I think its just the table leg.

We have a new twist on the bathroom trifecta (tp, soap, paper towels). As you know, we rarely have all three. Yesterday we had tp, but it was perched on the radiator - mmmmmm, warm. We had soap, but it was delivered in minuscule dots, and the paper towels were rightly in the dispenser. And there is a clown nose on the shelf.