Homage

Today, July 31st, 2008 would be the 45th birthday of Robbie Laufer. He died in December of 2003 of brain cancer. F*ck cancer.

Robbie was loyal, smart, piercing, affectionate. He was a friend, teacher, coach, mentor, and truth-teller.

Robbie taught me about some of the finer things in life, like Animaniacs, the WNBA, smurfs, and the joys of lounging in bed, watching movies, and eating pizza. Robbie connected deeply to Native American culture, tai chi, and the New York Mets.

In his absence I learned that, for me, grief is a state of being. It is a relentless physical presence, like a jacket I can't take off. When it mellows it alternatively casts a shadow and shines a light on everything I do. He is an undertow, a soundtrack.

I know you're there, Robbie.