Friday, July 15, 2011

Why the BBC is Actually the Best New Source

"An Austrian atheiest has won the right to to be shown on his driving-license photo wearing a pasta strainer as 'religious headgear'" He said that "the sieve was a requirement of his religion,pastafarianism."

Here is the link to prove that this is for reals...


Thursday, June 16, 2011

Why $15 a Month for the NYT Might be a Sound Investment


I used to read the NYTimes on line "cover to cover" daily. Like a good NY liberal I also listened to NPR and read El Diario. But now that the Times requires a subscription, I look elsewhere. Like Yahoo. Here's a sample (the pic and all the info swiped directly from Yahoo) of the "news" they offer from one article linking human leprosy to armadillos...

"DNA tests show a match in the leprosy strain between some patients and these prehistoric-looking critters — a connection scientists had suspected but until now couldn't pin down."

Better living through chemistry?

"The risk of getting leprosy from an armadillo is low"

Whew!

"DNA samples were taken from 33 wild armadillos in Arkansas, Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi and Texas, where they're sometimes referred to as "hillbilly speed bumps" because they're often run over by cars."

WTF?

"Of the 15 patients for whom researchers had information, seven said they had no contact with armadillos; eight said they did, including one who routinely hunted and ate them."

"Leave the animals alone," advised lead researcher Richard Truman of the National Hansen's Disease Programs.

Yup. Leave them alone.

"I would not cuddle armadillos," said Dr. Warwick Britton of the University of Sydney in Australia, who had no connection with the study.

Seriously, leave them alone.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Queens Pride 2011!



















Pride 2011 was AWESOME. Great friends, good food, dancing, love, energy.



Thursday, June 2, 2011

Serenity



Actual quote from a co-worker:

"I have a machete in my car and a knife in my pocket."

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Standard Response


Here are some sample conversations with my mom:

Mom: What did you do yesterday?
Me: I went to the park with the Varmints
Mom: Dullsville

or another

Mom: How was class?
Me: It was great! We practiced controlled take-downs
Mom: Sounds awful.
Me: No, it was awesome. I learned a lot.
Mom: Dullsville

You get the idea. Imagie my surprise when I saw 7 across.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Dear Ativan

Dear Ativan,

I love you. I don't mean in a "who's your buddy, who's your pal?" kind of way. I love you like I would give you a kidney. Like I would leave you my 403b. LikeI would shave my cha cha for you (sorry MK.)

Because if she didn't start taking it again I was going to start shooting heroin, probably directly into my eyes (sorry again MK) and then I would have to write a different letter - several different letters - as I was working my steps.

Oh Ativan, you are a miracle.

And to be fair, 2 1/2 years is a very long time, and it is an awful, awful, awful way to slowly die. And if I were in that position I don't know that I'd do much better. But I would take my fucking Ativan!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Email From a Potential Date

Hey Elena,

How are you? I think you are really cute. Let's go out sometime, we could do something really fun. I have a mango in my pants.

-Mr. X

Really? Seriously? Wha?